I think I'm going to die by hangover. I'm in my spanish class. So I guess I'm going to be muerte.
just ate frosted cheerios in coffee with some marshmellows. the college diet begins
smoking a cig and getting head on the last night of my cruise. and she doesn't mind that i'm texting you right now. this is now on my list of top 10 nights of my life.
He was a level 5 clinger dude i dont need to be told how ridiculously awesome i am all the time, if so id just hang out with my mom
i spelled "betch" that way on purpose, don't question my abilities as a drunk texter
dad just smoked me out. he's yelling at room service for not giving him cookies and milk with his towels...we're both too high to know if thats a legit complaint.
I was talking to this girl who was in love with the air force. I was doing decently until I mentioned that the navy actually has more planes. Cockblocked by my knowledge of random trivia again.
you fell asleep spooning with his golden retriever. im not sure if thats more degrading for you or the dog
So recap time do u remember biting that girls hand?
I made him sleep with a condom on and i passed out on the carpet with only a bra on.
I met her tumbling down the stairs chugging Captain Morgan. I'm not sure why she has the better reputation either.
You told me to ditch them in the park, and when she jumped onto the car to stop us, you told me to scrape her off against a parked Jeep. That drunk.
The night got interesting when the random guy next to us handed us a bottle of champagne and the rest of his ciroc bottle. When we asked why he did it, he proceeded to point at his friend who face planted the floor.
He put his number in my phone as Steve handsome
So i woke up on a park bench... Using my shoe as a pillow, cuddling a empty handle of vodka... Yet I'm still in my living room. Someone please tell me why all my vodkas gone? I'll deal with the park bench situation at a later time.
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