Either he has two lazy eyes or he really likes my tits..
We tried having a conversation with our noses.
Using manwich sauce as ketchup. Not bad. Love college.
I can't believe you're fucking in the bar bathroom, but everyone else can, and they're really proud.
I imagine anything that isn't a dilldo attached to a jackhammer, powered by a generator won't be amazing enough for you
Well, let's be honest here. You're dealing with gay guys... EVERYTHING has an emotional attachment.
my 3 favorite things in life are tequila, dicks, and making sandwiches. that DOES NOT make me a bad person.
hey you forgot your wet suit in my room you can come grab it whenever
Come on. I'll make you hot pockets. Literally and sexually.
Dude, you flipped off a cat from my balcony and yelled at it to get a house
So we came to a decision, you need to fuck your hot roommate and send us pictures. We voted, so don't hate the democracy this great country stands for
I'm at the local community college pretending to be a substitute for a computer applications class
Tell me why I woke up outside of our hotel room Wearing a cowboy hat and boots in Las Vegas.
Just because you got dumped by some loser doeant mean you need Jesus. It just means you need better friends and some booze
I CAN’T BELIEVE YOU STUCK YOUR DICK IN CRAZY!
Randomize
