Drawing on your hand and calling it yenifer lopez doesn't count!
I just had sex in the back of an ambulance. Call me.
I just googled "buy xanax online". What is wrong with my life?
She threw up all over when she was giving me dome. Not even gonna lie, it felt really good.
through my window right now you can see the hot chick next door is standing BUTT ASS NAKED eating peanut butter off a knife.
ill be there in 5.
if the best thing you can say about him is "he probably wont kill me" you may want to rethink hanging out with him
mid blow job she looked up and said "we aren't even facebook friends!"
Left my card at the bar and had a drunk girl climb on the hood of my running car to scream at me.
Just because I tried to backhand you with a fist full of cash does not make me violent
Oh my god I forgot there were Band-Aids on my nipples
Don't get me wrong, I love talking about lube and such, but why are we?
I told him the only reason I'd sleep with him is if we have a threesome because I'll need moral support
After we had sex he began to tell me the craziest places he's had sex. He told me KFC bathroom so I rolled over and went to sleep.
Theres a woman here with grey hair that im pretty sure i would have sex with
Grumpy Cat is dead and fuck EVERYTHING.
Randomize
