Omg just want to confirm: got drunk, naked in street, fucked in bathroom and puked on bart.
The only pictures he has from one of the biggest football weekends is an album titled "I miss my dog" filled with tons of pictures of his dog and him. This relationship must end.
No I'm not okay I had a crush on the singer of Tokio Hotel for four months and now you tell me he's a dude?
you're thinking of things to pack this weekend and you think Don King wig?
i have to get rid of the hedgehog.
Does it come with a cage?
yes. and food and toys.
i'll trade you an 8th for it
deal.
The bartender just told me he would have me face down in his pillow by the end of the night. I hate when you make me go to gay clubs.
Like what kind of adult things? Whats more adult than drinking at 2pm on a monday?
I think he's in need of mouth to penis resuscitation. Which I happen to be certified
Apparently he crashed because 3 different girls were trying to give him road head at the same time.
Today's been pretty great, I went and bought the new Batman for the sole purpose of masturbating to Bane
Goldenshlager is a hell of a drink. And these are the adventures ur missing out on w me. I gave someone a bath Emily. A BATH.
Awkward
Can't say I wouldn't let it happen again.
Times have changed. Freshman year I could throw my shirt in a bonfire and still get laid. Now when I puke in my girlfriend's bed on her birthday I'm "an asshole"
10/10 dentists agree that he is one bangable mother fucker. hint: i am all of these dentists.
Nah I think he's a bit weirded out I worked out where he lives from a Facebook photo
Hhhaaa He said Peanutburter disinfect lol. Like peanut butter can disinfect stuff. None of those guys are safe
Randomize
