I'm officially my mother.. Smoking in the garage pretending to take the dog out in a big ugly jacket
on toilet. in drag. drinking coffee vodka. I regret nothing.
it was like a zeppelin in a condom
I'm up to 9 pic of different guys. I need 4 more boys and each one of the 13 to submit 3 additional pics. I wanna make a penis deck of cards.
explain the broken jalepenos in my underwear drawer?
I know that was a dream because I woke up and there was no pizza
The hookers weren't a dream get tested
I'm supposed to be studying for finals but all I can think about is blowing him on a sea doo this summer
Let's just say I've never been so continually aware of my nipples before.
I'm not going to pass up the opportunity to be half naked and covered in glitter without facing judgement or legal prosecution. I'll be there.
I stood on the corner waiting to be picked up, dry heaving, and trying to block out the sun.
They're fucking on the bed next to me. I took adderall and smoked so there's no fucking help for me.
Just used an eyelash curler to open my beer since I didn't have a bottle opener. Things are starting to look up.
I woke up the whole house screaming I need my shorts they found me in the kitchen with a bag of strawberries naked
You kept calling yourself a spider monkey... Then ran to the bathroom to "prepare for the main event"
If he isn’t into CosPlay he will be after tonight. That naughty nurse outfit heals broken hearts
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