Either seal the deal or get out of the room, I don't want to hide in this closet anymore
when she said she's going upstairs to put her "play clothes" on, I knew either she was a pervert or a kindergarten teacher. Either way, I wasn't going to leave. She's a pervert by the way.
She just looked at him and said "I'm gonna fuck that" and it totally worked.
Dude this deaf chick is totally hot, I just bought an apartment on boner ave
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You'd be surprised how many calories hedonism burns.
Haha, I gave you the rest of the cash I had on me and you bought 3 shots for yourself and beer for everybody except me FUCKFACE.
Are u guys proud? I puked my brains out last night at a strip club. While my two fave strippèrs held my hair
I told my boss that I'm in a slutty stage of my life right now and the chef overheard and slipped me his number. I might get laid tonight
I'm either a high functioning alcoholic or I'm making the most of the fact that this is the last year that its socially acceptable to be black-out drunk five days a week.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well my unnaturally hairy chest finally came in handy. It took at least an hour to shave the american flag into my chest but I definitely went America all over that party
Get your ass back to America. We've got a lot of drugs to do.
I went in for a high five.. He went in for a kiss.. Today is a good day
I mean, I already saw his dick in person and wasn't impressed so why is he sending me a picture of it, anyway? I hate re-runs!
So drunk last night I reviewed my recent anazon purchase of secret deodorant. Trust me, it was eloquent.
i woke up half naked on someone's pool lounge chair in a house that i don't know, with someone's phone number scrawled on my stomach. why do i hang out with you again??
You just listed two reasons.
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