Dude ... paraplegic porn is really creative..
i'm so high i feel like the people i'm chatting with online can some how see that i'm naked.
we're on our way back. she tried to pants the waiter again.
look up what dreaming that you're in a lesbian relationship with a manatee means.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I really need to find a new way to reward you other than head scratches, nutella and blowjobs.
My brother just woke up to see me on te couch dipping hamburger buns into pizza sauce. I'm beginning to question the life choices that led to this moment.
I've liked him since I puked on him on my birthday so I want it to be special.
If is anything like my past relationships, I have no doubt that I will single-handedly reignite the Cold War
Being at this stripclub only reinforces how single I am. And I was *just* becoming okay with that.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just rolled an Obama blunt and a Romney shame joint for tonight. Vote wisely.
He crawled outside into the bushes to throw up. He's just laying there now but he says he'll be ready to come home if we just give him five
Also, you should've bet on Team Liver.
We won.
USA USA USA
So I stole cocaine from one of my Tinder hookups
And that is the most millennial sentence I've ever said
You ran up a $300 bar bill on his card and he didn't have you arrested, be grateful and move on.
If he isn’t into CosPlay he will be after tonight. That naughty nurse outfit heals broken hearts
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