i have no idea who im with but someones making meatballs. im going to stay.
New dating criteria: what kind of ex will this person be?
I need to figure out what I wanna do with my life.
There are margaritas in the freezer still.
Night. I'll wake u up at 6 with the unfinnished vodka bottle so be prepared young grasshoper. U have much to learn.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we left the music on while we were fucking. some kanye west song started playing and he started to cry
How am I feeling this morning? Well, besides the fact that my vagina looks like a pair of giraffe's lips and I'm walking like an over-confident cowgirl, I'm fantastic. Thanks for your concern.
My legs have surpassed "hairy" and entered the territory of "furry". Maybe I should just suck it up and shave already
No now I'm curious!
I'm gonna keep a minimum of five drink promise to myself
You mean maximum 5?
I don't remember where I was but I remembered that I hated everyone there
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
wearing my old cheerleader outfit to the bar was a great way to get free drinks. i should do this more often
On the plus side I'm getting really good at painting the inside of a toilet with my bowels.
There's a burrito next to my bed. Did you buy it for me or is the Chipotle fairy real? And why am I naked?
You can’t homewreck what the Lord hath brought together.
Did I ever tell you what happened that night after he ran you over?
The same idiot-bubble, now just bigger and louder.
Randomize