I'm 99% sure that for 3 hours I thought you were British. We must smoke that again.
I gave him a handjob while watching the presidential address. Needless to say, it was weird.
I just don't see what's wrong with carrying a water bottle around.
It's not the bottle. It's the fact that you're drinking wine out of a sport bottle at 9 am.
I think I have internal bruising from those poses we were doing last night. My own ribs hurt me. I don't understand.
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Well on the bright side, I only need a sophomore to complete the fuck-a-guy-from-every-year-challenge.
There is a full size piano in the middle of our road. Please tell me you had nothing to do with this.
im shotgunning beers in the kitchen. alone. the cat is judging me.
I think he's in need of mouth to penis resuscitation. Which I happen to be certified
They set the pop up pool in the basement-running filter and all. Drunk swimming. Come now.
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Can we do a version of last night where I actually remember shit?
I'll do a soapy photo shoot for you in the shower. No loofas, though. Once you get one of those caught in your nipple ring, you never go back.
We have a pile of chopped wood here that suggests we may have chopped down a tree of some sort.
I'm pretty sure you and I ate the entire Keebler elf weed workshop
I got copblocked.
What?
Cockblocked. By a cop. Copblocked.
Threw up on break at work. That brings our collective tally to 9 times. We can never drink like that on a monday again
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