i just realized that we are the poor version of bethenny and jill from real housewives... and I'm jill. this is a 6.5 on the depressing scale
at least we're not in new jersey
my girlfriend just informed me I need to get tested and so do you
girlfriend?
Just heard the new 'We are the world' ... Can I get my 10 bucks for Haiti back?
I don't care how ugly she is, I can't turn down a free movie +bj. In this economy that's downright irresponsible
They had an entire room dedicated to passed out people. It was like a dogpile of cross faded toddlers drooling on each other.
He came inside me, looked me in the eye and said, "Happy Mother's Day"
How do you not remember seeing the kid from our chem lab table and repeatedly yelling "lab partners for life!" at him?
I was literally convinced that the turkey wrap i was eating was keeping me alive. And i couldnt have been happier. That high.
Jesus horatio Christ I forgot my mittens and am considering shoving my hands down the pants of the first semi attractive man I see
He follows more cats on Instagram then he does girls.. That's how you know your boyfriend is whipped.
stop fucking thinking about him when there is A MILLION OTHER PENISES TO RIDE IN THE WORLD
I m a li title tea p or short and sto u. T.... Here is my haaandley
C ANGT CATCH NE IM THE GIBNGER BREAS MAB
Drunk level: ugly crying in the bar upon discovery of sweet tarts and not smarties.
He said his parents were apparently coming over to surprise him with breakfast and I’ve never gotten dressed and run out of the door that quickly. I have commitment issues.
Also I know now I was meant to be a comedian. Had both arresting officers laughing.
Randomize
