i would only ever fuck harry potter if he was on a broomstick.
you started crying about dinosaurs being extinct
that's why i woke up holding that dina girls hand
she's a dina-saur
What do you mean when you say no pre-party sex?
OH MY GOD. JESUS STRIPPER. THERE IS A JESUS STRIPPER HERE. A STRIPPER DRESSED AS JESUS.
I just noticed my teeth are no longer straight. Wondering if anyone had an explanation.
please dont let the old guy in the wheelchair see you when you wake up
I'll just dance on top of the ping pong table, and if it's stable enough for that, then it's stable enough for sex
I remember nothing of last night, but I did manage to figure out which frats I went to by the trails of straw across campus.
Is it bad to have a craving for speed? I feel like my nose is thirsty.
We smoked a blunt in a stall where a drag queen was fucking a bartender in the ass. So theres gonna be a second date :)
My Dicks been hard all day. Poor guy isn't used to vacation being over
Oh, don't mind me, that's just my vagina rattling.
Come over. We have half a bottle of jumbo champagne left and no boyfriends to slow us down
You would be proud of me, I did not take a dab at work today.
yes that’s a photo of a horny gay donkey
Oh I know. I’ve known many horny gay donkeys in my time.
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