haha omg you stole $185 from a passed out drunk indian on your porch and called the ambulance??
savin' lives aint cheap
This ginger kid smells like a queef popsicle
Just tried calling my phone on my phone because i thought i lost my phone.
Picture Ja Rule and 50 Cent having a sexy full grown love child son...He's on my bus right now, wearing an outside jacket with no shirt underneath. My fashion sense and libido are fighting it out.I'll keep you posted on who wins.
I didn't know that people actually queef. Is this a real thing?
I believe so, yes.
Would you be offended if I asked if it has happened to you?
I unwillingly was the ball between four hungry hippos last night. I thought the one chick was actually going to eat me
I may do that, fyi I'm even more sore than I was yesterday. It's like the ghost of your dick is still inside me.
It went from cuddling and watching blood diamond to watching the three of them snort an entire $80 bag of blow off the coffee table
I have to be home in time to watch my friend on that Lifetime show about having babies. And by friend, I mean the girl I had a lesbian experience with at a party 3 years ago.
Ive decided I'm sending thank you notes to all the bars for graduation.
Found your glasses drenched in ketchup on my driveway this morning
Dude where are you? I've been here an hour and all I've done is get head from a random in the stairwell.
Update: my mom just told someone to shut up and suck her dick
I'm just glad you didn't end up in Staten Island
I woke up naked holding a taco. My ass couldn't even make it to my bed let alone Staten Island
Need to use your shower bro.
FWB wearing glitter again?
It’s like she’s marking her territory
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