Ummmm the art teacher neighbor asked me to pose nude for her art class for cash.
I just used Master P to describe what sound the letter U makes to my daughter...
I hope as the only other living being in this apartment you can explain to me why the toilet was full of cheerios this morning.
Just did free shots of tequila at a walmart. Hello Mexico
it was my 21st birthday. took an old mans walker so i could stay till last call. reasonable right?
Jesus Christ, she just started playing Enya and is humming along to it. Way, way, way too hungover to deal with her shitty taste in music
Fine. Just this once and because its veterans day will I send you a picture of my tits. You're lucky I love this country.
He literally had a note from his doctor saying he wasn't allowed to finger me for a week
Woke up this morning with seven juice boxes under my pillow and an empty box of condoms In my pocket. Good night.
My cab driver has a hooker in the front seat. Really, this is serious. And weird.
Might be time to reevaluate my life. Banned from red roofs inns. Apparently I puked in ice machine. 3 hotels in a year.
We need a bunch of roses, some chocolate, 2 cops, a mariachi band, and a thermometer
Vagic. Defined as a kind of magic one has over a girl's vagina. Used in a sentence... he's an accomplished vagician.
Before getting out of the car, she said "Thanks for getting me off." I like how polite she is.
congrats on being the token straight people in our group.
Randomize
