I reminded them that I didn't puke and I cleaned yours up! So huh!
In retrospect, it was a terrible idea, going down on her with these ulcers in my mouth.
Well yesterday i made out with the entire football team and rifht at this very moment our waiter looks like a ken doll. Straight up. And he gave me wine so ill probly make out with him
college has opened so many doors for you
it's like iHOP with fire
29 Petty People Reveal The Shallow Reasons They Turned Someone Down
No. Especially when my uncle started stripping. Too many shots. So that's where I get that from.
i am breaking up with you. because you wash your hair too much and you only drink light beer and because you're not party enough.
Just had a pleasant conversation with a mugger while he was taking off my shoes. Why can't I get along with people like this sober?
I just woke up to pictures of every angle of his dick I'll ever need to see.
I'm love that we're talking about a possible 3rd 3some, and that you're going to be a dad.
21 Horribly Evil Pranks To Play On Your Drunk Friends
So, since you're now a four night stand, I feel comfortable asking: Did I leave my sunglasses at your house? Or my underwear?
We split an eighth of shrooms and went ice fishing. It didn't get weird until I caught one and we both started crying.
I think he's speaking German to me now
Nevermind, he's just drunk and not texting properly
It's George Washington's Birthday. Can you not put on some red white and blue and get really drunk for the original Merican??
2 six inch heels, 3 big sangrias, no broken legs
just curious, were the inflatable penis' received? Amazon says they were delivered.