I just know... :) goodntight
Whoops, meant "goodnight", but the other is true too.
girl next to me is signing up for tough love. definitely getting laid.
omg theres cum all over the american flag and now its up in front of his house.
I am trying to think of a way to make alcohol cupcakes
then they caught me trying to hide the turtle in the fridge
All i remember is people cheering me on to drink faster than the dog, out of the dog's bowl. I just couldn't stop.
pouring popcorn down my shirt before we went to the bar was the best idea ever. it was delicious and convenient.
remind me again why lemons and alcohol in the crock pot is a bad idea?
I think this hangover is going to kill me. If it succeeds I would like you to read a dramatic rendition of 'Trapped in the closet' complete with interpretative dance at my funeral.
if i'm ever face-down on the ground puking again, promise me you won't try to braid my hair?
You're wonderful. How are you always such a good friend?
50% genetics, 50% driven by a desire for people to drunkenly eat donuts at my funeral and then have fantastic cry-sex afterward.
Guys, as my favorite vagina consultants I have to share something.
My professional advice is not to put lemons in your lady pocket.
She's in it for that fear factor ya'll. Obsession and stalking or nothing.
U wanna come over and watch talidaga nights. Ill make pancakes
What? It's 130 in the morning.
Aww come on i make bomb ass pancakes
Dude, I'm pretty sure I just drank iced tea last night and yet I'm still hungover. What the fuck is my body anymore ?
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