Bar. Show boob. Just one. Free drinks. Instant friends
Guys only need one. Little known secret. You're welcome.
I just had the fat girl at the party come tell me I look sad and offer me a beer. I'm out.
How was dinner with ur grandparents?
I was really blazed and scared they'd catch me, so when they asked about my day I was concentrating really hard on not saying smoking that instead I honestly said "Well, I had sex on your pool table, Nana."
They're having chugging contests. With juice. Please get me out of Utah.
27 Common Occurrences Everyone Can Relate To But No One Talks About
She never called back. Financed a fleshlight.
I'm listening to bach and watching porn,is that a sign of depression?
Quite the contrary. Sophistication.
the water pistols in the freezer are full of voddka.
I told him that his face would look perfect between my legs. One of my most successful strategies yet.
I can't believe you're asking me to think of a sincere, creative way to apologize to your penis at 2 am.
21 People Intentionally Did Despicable Things During Sex
And after that you guys started calling arbor mist "breakfast juice"
Woman at starbucks on her computer with a garbage bag of popcorn and a bottle of lotion. Where are you coming from?!
To drink from my fkask next to a cop car or to not drink from my flask next to a cop car
Nobody feels the need to text me back. Men. And I sent myself a message saying nakedness. I'm all the man I need.
So you're at your daughter's volleyball game looking at dicks online? That's amazing.
No, I was picking her up from volleyball and sitting in my car looking at dicks.
I may have broke the toilet masturbating. On a positive note the floor is really clean now.