with your own penis?
i have i love cock written on my hand and a vagina drawn on my arm and i just finished eating breakfast with the whole fam for mothers day
ahah at least you got away with it
nope...my gran was the one who informed me
A little girl and i are having a face making battle in mcdonalds
She started it, but I totally finished it.
I've decided that life's journeys are more fun when your moral compass hangs in front of you and swings with each step
we need to go to the store. i'm tired of having bud light for breakfast.
do you want me to pick up budweiser instead?
I just feel as thought we should spend the day in which we celebrate relationships the same as how we started them. Drunken hook ups.
just let her blow you already, it's practically animal cruelty at this point.
How do I tell my Dad that in the picture he has of me and my brother as the background of his phone we were both rolling face on ecstasy?
Yesterday was just the icing on the rejection cake that was my week
However today I got my lube that might I add was dripping out of the box. I'd like to think my mailman was mixing business with pleasure.
I should make a collage of all the pictures of me caught doing slutty things
I think your dad took our porno
Annoying and petty is the name of the game and I'm the MVP.
I'm still drunk, my mom is throwing up, and there is a random Irish guy out getting our house breakfast right now. Wednesday's are my bitch.
She called me at 2am crying because her late night booty call moved out of state
Randomize
