Does leaving at 3 give Sara enough time to take the bus or are you picking her up?
I cant tell if your joking or not, but I'm picking her up
Do you need some kind of permission slip from her parents or can anyone just go and grab a high schooler these days?
how is it that boston is so bitchin and the rest of massachusetts sucks so much?
how is it that you still think "bitchin" is an acceptable term anymore?
I swear to God, I saw my life flash between my legs.
I love watching the kids I sold drugs to score touchdowns
you made them have somersault races with you thru the lobby..
theres a turtle on the table. helping me eat my ramon noodles.
And next time please put a text between discussing my orgasms and discussing your son - that was weird.
I'd just like to inform all involved that walking into a liquor store holding a milk crate at the beginning of a night as stock ends badly
I knew you were blacked out when you started refusing beer.
also please imagine me hopping a fence at 3am using two chairs. It was a shit show. K's guy practically ripped her off the top of the fence bc she got semi stuck. It was like watching Disney on Bud Ice.
When you're really drunk, Japanese toilets just have an unnecessary amount of buttons.
Just try not to have a boner when you're giving your best man speech, it will really kill the vibe
Everything is a learning experience. Last night we learned why I'm not allowed to bring guys home from the bar....
If I end up in the hospital remind me to order jimmy johns.
Why?
They deliver.
The last time I was on vacation the pandemic blew up. Can't wait to see how my vacation fucks up the world this time.
Randomize
