Well, its 5:30am and you haven't let me in, I guess ill go home
I just peed in my kitchenbs sinlk. New low- maybe. am i embarrassed? Not in the least
I feel like I got hit by a truck made out of Jack Daniels.
Friends don't let friends talk to people who live in Orlando. Sorry I've failed you.
update: last drink of the night and im naked in my porch hammock. life is good.
i'm on the subway and being revisted by the ghosts of tequilas past.
handjobs have no place on a baseball diamond
Took me 12 hours to be sober again. Shitshow mission accomplished
Dude I've kinda accepted I may leave Nola with the clap.
And I just found out I called my debit card a fast food passport so I dont deserve to live
I sent him a picture of my boobs instead of saying good morning. I'm trying to tell him how I feel in a language he'll understand.
The point remains that this is the setup for some great stories
Or terrible, horrifying, traumatic experiences
great clearly means different things to us
Note to self: don't practice nerdy white girl dance choreography in the company bathrooms no matter how nice the huge mirrors and lighting are.
A blind guy just told me that even he could see i was gay and encouraged me to chat up the girl behind that counter bc he thinks we'd make a cute couple. Are all Canadians this helpful?!
ALL I WANT FOR CHRISTMAS IS FOR YOU TO SHUT THE FUCK UP FOR ONCE
Randomize
