Someone told me they could tell we were from cincinnati because we say "as fuck" after adjectives
my mario cart skills improve with alchohol. and i think my real car skills do to but the cop didnt see my logic
good penises are hard to come by.... must be the economy...
Wow, being the totally hot and slutty looking 30 year old lady on the dance floor does NOT necessarily mean that she has skills in bed.
She said she was an education major and you replied with "oh I'm taking a semester off too". And we never saw her again...
I am VERY upset that you called my fiesta a waste of time.
I'm in a waiting room at the hospital - and there's a dude here who is WAY too proud of his urine sample.
Her boobs take up a lot of room so God had to skimp on the brains
He is peeing inside and sticking up for himself. Those are two of the four signs of the apocalypse.
I thought it was pretty weird, but after the marinating loins thing, i figured i'd roll with it.
I peed my pants walking home last night... I just kept walking.
I'm really ok with inappropriate relationships. They are my favorite of all the relationships. No need to be timid. For crying out loud.
my life is turning into trapped in the closet at way too fast a speed for me to feel comfortable.
Why is there cereal literally EVERYWHERE?
It didn't follow directions.
it's not rock bottom until you fall down an escalator on the way home from a hookup and have to have you dad come pick your drunkass up at 3am. Adulthood.
Randomize
