Culvers...So Good
So good. The butter burgers slip right outta my ass.
never have i ever had a craving for dick this badly
We need to start having sex underwater more often.
Some chick in the back of my Psychologhy of Addictions class just did a line off her hand. She tried to make it look subtle.
He just got home drunk. He ate 5 snack cakes, said Little Debbie's his bitch, went upstairs and fell asleep.
Well apparently I'm no fun since I won't have a threesome with him and my mother.
I need to do something profound in the next three and a half years so that when my kids ask what I did in my twenties I have something to say other than "made bad decisions"
There was a reason God said "Let there be titties" on the Fifth Day.
Why did you send me 12 pictures in a row of your expressionless face at 2:30 am?
First of all you can never say anal too much. Second I now think you're a total gentleman.
Rarely has that paragraph ever been put together
You can kiss the security deposit goodbye after you and your boyfriend did donuts on his moped in the middle of the apartment. It was impressive since you were both too drunk to walk.
How weird is it that 2 people I've had sex with have the same birthday and they don't even know each other
you better come over.. I need a witness to help prove the couch talks to me
the good news is I finally used my captain america waffle maker to make captain america waffles
Everything is scary i hate being an adult i hate responsibility tell me a dick joke
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