Idk man, it felt like my skin was a suit and I could feel it zipping up my side and up to my mouth. And then my head felt like a ventriloquist dummy's head, with the jaw thing..it was freaky, dude
You think that's a metaphor for anything, champ?
Shut the hell up.
does the new i-phone have a pregnancy test app?
Whatever it was. it was pregnant.
Update. It gets worse. A) he's done viagra and B) he wears socks at all times.
I've learned something. I regret way too may Tuesdays in my life to be normal
She wanted to roleplay. Apparently you be snow and i'll be a plow wasn't an option
She's an honest to god fucking ballerina. She did things I don't have names for.
you know what would be perfect? if you flew in on a horse/cat holding taco bell and then you swooped me up and took me to disney world and it was magical
he threw up in a solo cup, then washed it out and used it to play flip cup. Im not sure if thats resourceful or disgusting.
So the next three days will be henceforth known as the 'celebration of the end of the most irresponsible years of my life' be prepared to wake up naked in a ditch.
I'm not having the "why are your fucking my daughter" talk and the "your a drug addict" talk with your mom tonight.
It's like you know you got fucjed up when you wake up and check fir your own pulse
You don't know what lonely is until you've came in an Arby's Napkin
just called AAA to get my keys out of me car and then afterwards realized they were in my pocket...stoner life
Oh also we fucked while one of the old Rudolph movies was playing on tv so it was festive
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