Your girlfriend is a south jersey whore
was it morally wrong to have used his girlfriends makeup after i fucked him?
You stood up gave the stripper 15 ones in a wad, hugged her and then sat back down.
I swear, if he gets me a bowling ball for Christmas, I will throw it at him.
I will come to your office dressed as a bloody mary, hug you then leave is that a good plan?
yes. bring a barf bucket too. just. in. case.
I peed in my sheets during a dream. Like straight up. A whole new drunk.
the scent of your tears make me crave pizza
I think they make you graduate because you get too old to go hard and become a risk. homecoming weekend wins again. fuck.
Alive.
So much puke
Jesus, I just want to drink. Also simultaneously punch things and rub my vagina on them.
This love triangle bullshit is getting out of hand. It's now a love polygon and I want out
Keep in mind this was 2012... YOLO was a very new concept.
When your job has killed your spirit to the point that you don't want to flirt with the cute, tall guy at Enterprise
GIRL PLEASE. GO BACK AND POP THE TITTY OUT
this morning's inventory: a top hat, two empty bottles of everclear, half a slim jim, cigars, tiara, pot necklace, and some fishnets. and that's just my purse.
This past week everybody of fb either got rings or semen. All I got was Covid.
Randomize
