I found your twin in sf. His name is ryan. And you are the evil one.
I am in the hospital with a broken wrist because a guy told me that if I punched him it "wouldn't hurt." it hurt. me. Thank you 11 jello shots.
they pretty much knew i was there to get drunk and fuck their daughter
btw im using a cooler as a purse cause i love string cheese
So on how many levels of wrong is it that I'm reconsidering my divorce simply because I don't want to go through getting used to shitting around someone again.
His penis will pick the quickest route to vagina. it's like an biological onstar.
It's official. This guy and I are going gay for each other. We're tasting the fucking rainbow.
No cash. I had to buy four bowls of soup to meet the credit card limit. I'm not even upset. SO MUCH SOUP.
Quick question: is it impolite to pause sex to put on my knee brace?
Perfect. Let's do that. I'm thinking everclear and green dye as our base. We shud start from there
Just bailed on her the best way possible. Got tickets to the game. Only issue is.... if we lose, we not only lost, but I skipped sex to watch us lose
I gave him a BJ and he left. Coincidentally that's the name of my memoir.
So Saturday night after 10 drinks I guess he tried to have sex with me and in the middle of it I asked "can you tell I'm faking it!?" and then I sat up and threw up in my hand. That's a sex Win in my books
Wow dude wow that's sad man so sad. I dno't event wanna massturbate anymore due to teh sadness
Day drunk. He was sitting in the back seat, opened the door, leaned out, and peed right there in the dutch bros drive through. No one even noticed haha
Randomize
