I'll be waiting for you under the stairs with peanut butter and tequila ... Don't tell the neighbors
dude you made out with his girlfriend and stole his credit card to buy more drinks
well when you put it that way, I sound like a terrible person
Did we have sex last night or did we just wake up naked covered in oil?
Don't you hate it when all three people suddenly sober up in the middle of a threesome. Awwwwkward.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You need to braveheart it on Monday. Blue face paint and a loin cloth screaming freedom in your front yard.
I've seen people win free drinks for a lot less dude, no need to drop trou on a piano.
Goodbye spring break, hello depressing video on AIDS.
Once I hang curtains in my truck bed that'll be feasible
Literally the only reason we didnt get arrested was because the cop said I reminded him of Steve Stifler from American Pie
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
its like my brain is a tree and you are those little cookie elves
The fact that me being able to walk down stairs is an accomplishment in my books pretty much explains how I am
Easy. Go to walmart, buy a bag of charcoal. everyone gets a present and it's cheap.
Drinking and decided to streak in the apartment fountain. Canadian goose shit and sharp rocks on the bottom. I sobered up quick. That was a very bad idea.
You were yelling at a tree saying it should be in the forest..
Don't judge me.
Depends how u look at it. Half-full, half-empty, or how should I shave my pubes
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