ok plan lets look hot and dance like whores.
a strip club that doesn't allow touching or asking for sex... whats the point?
unless her vagina can tell me my horoscope in sign language, I'm not going.
Anywhere you can eat green eggs and ham, you can have sex.
I have discovered something important. The trick to making food taste better is not always 'more hot sauce'.
i'm using a wine bottle as a spitter. how classy is that.
Good ideas don't start with we have a bottle of vodka..
I need to talk about my life with someone. Preferably with someone who hasn't tried to jizz on me
ONE NIGHT STAND. You have 27 minutes before the offer expires, so I suggest you hurry.
Ya bro it was wild. Hey, is latex digestible?
If anyone from work finds out about us I will rip your dick off, sew it to your forehead and feed your balls to you like little grapes
Finding out he was uncircumcised by feeling his foreskin in my mouth was NOT ideal. New rule. Lights ALWAYS on.
I made a blanket fort and am drinking Gatorade and eating donuts watching 500 days of summer. I can't keep spending my saturdays like this.
He bought my favorite ceral.. I've guess I've earn the status as one of his regular fuck buddies. I feel honored and proud. His roommates girls don't get this treatment.
Only he would come to a strip club and talk about an internship with Walt Disney during a lap dance.
Scary. I hope people take me seriously. Maybe I should black out less to be sure
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