i get turned down more than a collar. where are the desperate bitches i need to crawl to them
Well I'm going to a gay club in my banana suit. You should come. My bro is going as a pirate. I don't know if there's a theme.
Ohh the wonderful, yet disgusting things she can do with her hair
all we ever talk about is how much i like your dick or my drug problem.
so she sprained her ankle somehow and her friend had to carry her out while all 7 of us watched. do we even need to vote on that or is that automatic induction into the hall of shame?
Its official, drinking for 15 hours counts as a suicide attempt
I woke up to him peeling the skin on my stomach from my sunburn. If he wasn't so good in bed I'd be a little freaked out.
I woke up to a head of lettuce on my nightstand, someones Honda abandoned in my yard, the cat partially shaved, and a empty bottle of sailor hanging by a scarf from the rafters. Oh, and 26 people apparently came though and rubbed my back in the process of the night. Happy 23rd to me!
Also, they sell weed-chocolate covered strawberries. For the romantic stoner.
That was one of the best texts I got today
He just pulled out my weave during sex....needless to say I'm embarrassed and in need of another shot pronto
Is the Chairman of the College Republicans throwing upon your toilet right now? 'Murica!
and everyone will high five me and girls will approach me offering blowjobs
Nobody likes ball hair. Not even gay dudes
you were acting out moves from the wwe, in a dress. then you sceamed "you can't see me" and ran out of the apt.
Hitting up all my dealers for my birthday grams is paying off
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