dude, that girl smelled worse than the great depression.
i just drank a strangers drink off a toilet
I didnt attack him, I heard I threw a chair at him- big difference. And you know Im not a creep so whatever
already putting money aside for 4/20. you ready for the greatest tuesday ever?
I miss being able to drink at 11am just cause it was sunny outside.
we agreed that it was acceptable to get the cat high as long as we gave her a lot of food.
i just like, need to vent to someone
Can we skip the part where I pretend to care and fast forward to the appreciative blowjob from you?
Listen I'm a sentimental character under all this alcohol and ratchetry
I just threw up 34 cents. What in god's name did we do last night?
Take a shit and have a hit. It's the Sunday Funday Rule.
Sundays were made for eating Ramen pantless in bed.
What'd I miss?
Erotic hypnosis and studded dog collars.
I just borrowed porn from my middle aged mother. This is what desperate looks like.
Last night you were prentending to be a broom stick...you were laying on the floor and humming the Harry potter song.
You’ll lick BBQ off my cock but no ketchup on a hotdog?
Randomize
