Fun fact of the day the average american will consume 13248 beers in their lifetime.
So for us it's double that?
Precisely.
I have one brief flash of having his dick in my hand. that's all I remember.
im keeping my plan b box as a souvenir of my first halloween weekend in college
The only coherent words in the 6 texts i recieved were don't, cute, fucking, beer, and lions
There's a stripper banging on the door demanding to see you.
We tried to line dance with everyone but it turned into drunken stumbling and attempting to grind on random frat boys. I feel that this might turn into an every Thursday thing.
You said you were going inside to sober up and then you poured yourself a wine glass of warm gin
I think that's mostly how we became friends.
Well that, and your desire to put your penis in me.
I just face planted on a condom wrapper in my bed...thought of you.
You're so romantic.
At least your night didn't end with three cops seeing your ass and you sitting on the ground in a wig throwing your shoes at people
If you need us, Zoe and I will be on my kitchen floor drinking Gatorade and crying
it was just another one of those moments where you unfriendzone a friend you assumed to be gay
Her new crush is a 6'2" guacamole baron that may also be a Jedi.
Hey. You dropped and smashed your road beer in my store last night. Again. And this time you didn't even order anything. You just walked in, yelled "SWEDISH STYLE!" Then lost your beer, looked depressed, and left.
you were so drunk that when the mouse on your laptop didnt work anymore you decided to just take it into the bathroom and pee on it while laughing like a mad scientist.
Randomize
