just went to get groceries. a cashier said she saw me last night. i guess i carried a broom back from the party and swept the street the whole walk back...and i claimed to be in the cast of wicked
I just sold a pizza for the ability to listen to spice girls.
he wanted to give me a nickname... my choices were superjugs,godzilla boobs or mouth of fury
Just shaved my legs with toilet water in a walgreens bathroom. I am so classy.
I had a drunk dream I lived on a puppy farm. I hope this dream repeats every night of my life.
All she said was "the usual?" and unzipped my pants.
It could have went better. They kicked us out of the casino and I drunkenly whipped her across the face with a fishing pole. Long story.
Just realized I have to keep sleeping with him... those scars from drunk sex on the 4th of July are still on my back and lord knows I'm not about to explain that to another guy.
The problem is drunk me is completely unaware how poor I am
Old woman told me I looked like her son and then she started explaining to me how she wanted me to fuck her
Ok everyone, the frat server is slow because of the 11 TB of porn on there. Either clean out your partition by Sunday or it will be erased. Thanks for your help.
It's Wednesday. And it's about that time to remind everyone that my priorities from last weekend have not changed moving forward into this weekend.
I'm 50% okay with that amount of body contact... plus/minus 7% based on where blood may flow.
The sex was so boring I heard the people having sex next door and I wanted to stop just to listen
Her boyfriend offered to buy me a vibrator. I'm not sure how to feel about that.
Randomize
