That's what happens when you let Keystone Light make your decisions.
the liability waiver did not state that i couldn't bring my bottle of wine in the bouncy castle. it did Not.
If everyone lived like me, we would need 5.9 earths. Fuck yes america.
just bought a coffee grinder that advertiesed spacious grinding chamber...new nickname for my bedroom?
I don't care if he acts like a don't exist 6 days a week. On the 7th day he makes makes my vagina cry. In a good way. Jesus understands.
So apparently the christmas orgy was a complete disaster
i just woke up to a text from him apologizing for making me eat a full lemon
I think showering with 5 people and a half gallon of vodka was one of the best decisions we have ever made.
He probably smells like baby powder and sexual identity crisis.
It would have been the trifecta of dick for her.
Looked like a bag of smashed assholes and smelt like a brewery - still got morning sex. Marriage rules sometimes!
it's always good to have a friend that's a hairdresser, a massage therapist, maybe throw in a lawyer just in case, and always have a friend on food stamps
I spilt beer on the table, and she quickly got a straw and yelled party foul and made me drink it.
i solemnly vow to never stick my penis into crazy again
I give it a week.
Nothing quite like spending your evening singing Shania Twain I Feel Like a Woman barbershop quartet Style with some homeless guys outside of Keyport liquor. love Shania Twain. How's your Sunday?
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