So I'm playing pool in my cowboy boots and some guy came up looks at my boots and goes, "you should've got the boots with the fur"
I have no idea what her name is. I only remember putting my dick between her ass cheeks.
there is nothing more satisfying than playing sudoku while pooping
I like to use the word "seasoned" over "slutty", you know, like a good curly fry
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Your favorite bartender is back from prision
Sitting in the library lobby in the middle of exam week. Drunk. Dressed as santas slutty helper. Waiting for the student shuttle service. People are clapping for me as they walk by. Tell me how this isnt college
I just had a cup of orange juice and thought it didnt taste right. It didnt have vodka in it.
making an appointment with student health services to check out my pinkeye on 4/20. they are going to thing this is such a joke
I just ate nachos topless with a fork. Live with meeee
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There's banana everywhere and your hamster may or may not have stayed the night in the microwave...
Apparently from about 3-5AM I was consoling that crying stripper about her life choices.
He also gave me two gold stars for sex. On my nipples.
He literally just peed in a trash can in our room. It didn't even have a bag in it
I'm drinking vodka out of a water bottle at work. Am I really the best person to come to for life advice?
He asked me while we were fishing why the passion was gone when we have sex. It's official...I am the dude in this relationship.
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