I just found 'pokemon orgy' in my search history
I texted her sayin "I gotta brush my teethn then Im omw" maybe hint to do the same
I love how adderall is equivalent to money on a college campus. just got a ride home and paid the driver in adderall...yeeah buddy
you sang the finger bang song from south park while fingering me. needless to say, kind of a turn off.
I'm pricing out a roll of that wax butcher paper. We fuck too messy and I can't afford to wash them every afternoon.
He wanted to drink hypnotic from my butt crack. I need to move out this state.
Just woke up, shitty hungover, and realized that every article of clothing I slept in was backwards, bra included. Fuck you, gin. Fuck you.
When she asked why I felt bad I said that it may have had something to do with the gin and cold pizza I had for breakfast.... And then I reflected on what my life has become.
I saw him and didn't have sex with him. Responsibility five!
This guy dressed as a piece of paper for Halloween, I felt it was only necessary to sign his penis
I'm trying to make sure he doesn't drown in the toilet. Because I'm a nice lady.
CURSE YOU AND YOUR SEXY LOGIC
All I remember is you shouting "THIS KID IS A FREAKIN' NINJA!!" when he dive rolled over a barbed wire fence and proceeded to ask for his 18th beer.
Woke up to find my underwear in my purse to only remember I took them off at the airport
I cant tell you how much harder a belt makes hoeing
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