If she catches me sniffing the seat of her office chair again, she's either going to fire me or fuck me
there should be a rule- if you jizz on it, you wash it
i justawanted to let you know that illi aalways be thwew for ui and o qill waasag youer dog whenebvet u wsnt
i am not allowed to pick the men i sleep with anymore
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If we're like this now and women reach their sexual peak in their 30's, I can't even fathom what our futures hold.
Idk if I woke up next to a cat or raccoon. either way it's purring.
Hey that girl we tagged team last night invited me to her birthday on Facebook, remind me to be sick that day.
You would ignore him even if it wasn't NoManUary. It could be the Winter of a Thousand Dicks and you wouldn't talk to that guy.
The Winter of A Thousand Dicks sounds terrifying!!!
I am going to borrow your water/shock proof video camera for St. Pattys day so that if wake up next to the highway again I know why.
Ok but I hold the right to any footage of you getting slapped, puking, anything with body shots, and allowed to make a montage of it to put on youtube.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
WTF DUDE?
Stay calm. I'm sure there's a heterosexual explanation for this
I'm just gonna start letting dudes eat it. American idol for my vagina
Are you jealous of my sweatsuit? It's how I get men on Tinder.
how do you politely tell someone their toddler looks alarmingly similar to the berries and cream guy
Accidentally made a straight guy question his sexuality again. I really gotta watch myself.
His bedroom is the preferred destination of MILFs, cougars, recent divorcees and sexually frustrated wives
His penis is my hero
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