Once you see the odd facial expressions and noises a guy makes while he is furiously beating off on top of you, it kind of puts things into perspective.
Dude, I woke up in the kitchen, naked, with a blueberry bagel as a pillow.
Can I eat your pillow?
You stuck your head out the window to puke and got hit with a mailbox.
I passed out in the VIP room and she charged me for 17 songs until I woke up, theres a bouncer asking me for $700, fuck tequila
Please tell me how you drunkenly remembered your social security number when we were checking you into the ER.
the moment we started interpretive dancing last night wouldve been a good time to stop drinking.
I'm sorry the first time we hungout you had to witness me throw up in the ocean then army crawl to shore.
I AM HAVING A WEIRD OUT OF BODY EXPERIENCE. IN CAPS LOCK.
My stomach is revolting cause i have put food in it and no alcohol.
i'm having taco bell mild sauce and tums for breakfast because i'm hungover and thats all i can find. it's like thanksgiving up in here
Skip school. Seven hour blow job Plus Disney movies. Day of champions
Question: would Brian be pissed if I brought his 17 year old sister as my date to the wedding?
Can I interview you during sex or would that be weird?
mhmm. we know where to go, which places have free bathrooms, how long you can be in one until its sketchy, we have this down to a science. we're like the college sophomore pregaming dream team
Again? Most people check out of hotels, they don't escape from them
Randomize
