No one appreciates an amoeba in a balloon hat.
all thats left of you is your magnum wrapper on my dresser
i love how cold weather makes identifying sluts easier. is it below freezing? is she wearing a tube top? she's easy.
with your vagina and my liver, anything is possible
She was like the Rudy of blow jobs... SO much effort into it
WHAT THE FUCK. SUCH A BAD IDEA. YOU'RE NO LONGER IN CHARGE OF NOSE SUBSTANCES.
I'm going to teach Troy such valuable life lessons. Yesterday I told him to stay away from girls who drink redbull and vodkas.
At least I know that however bad my life gets and how low I can feel I'll never feel shitting in a red robin parking lot low
well theres no bloody mary mix at the campus bookstore so i dont even know what its good for
sorry for running off in the middle of that heart to heart. free food.
I can't believe I watched you put a tampon in in the parking garage
I kept telling you not to give them blowjobs, but you kept screaming back, "it's okay, we're friends on facebook!"
Fuck my life he IS a stripper, Ive been sleeping with a stripper named Phoenix. damnit, I knew the sex was too good
im gonna miss him. and by him, i mean his dick
Last night I ate a candle out of a strippers ass.... I guess it was an okay night.
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