i think he might wanna be bffs again, but idk cause we're friends again but we haven't been bff since like a year. i don't know what to think...
wow. what a nail bitter. i need popcorn for this. brb
Waitress cut us off at Chili's bar. New low
Does adding vodka to a protein shake defeat the purpose?
does drinking everclear count as brushing your teeth? because i think they are sterilized
this study room smells like vodka
the study room thinks the same about you
according to the woman who took my blood today, i have "party veins"
Is all white too much for court to prove my innocents?
Passed out mid cig in bed last night. Thank you cough for allowing me legal prescription hydrocodone.
Next time I think buying tan-thru bikinis is a good idea, remind me of that time I passed out in one and burned the epic shit out of my pussy.
When was that?
Yesterday. Bring aloe. For my pussy.
I wanna fuck that hideous moustache right off your face. get the confetti ready for the festivities
you made me suck your tit in the car and kept saying "good boy. I love you so much. good boy."
Don't go to sleep yet I need your Mexican roots. Can you come make guacamole
Netflix, eggnog, and bed? Maybe some hand stuff?
It figures that the only time one of my videos on Snapchat gets replayed is a video of my Hedonism Bot impression and NOT my nudes
I haven't been drunk for four days and just realized I haven't taken a shit for three. This can't be healthy.
Which part?
Randomize
