I just hope this isn't happening Final Destination style
Travis Barker would totally be Devon Sawa in this scenario
what happened last night?
u kept telling him to fuck u optimus prime style
that explains why his roommate kept saying autobots roll out this morning as i left
I am sitting on my kitchen floor drunk with a bottle of jose cuervo, tryin to make cinnamon rolls and write a paper. I love college
I'd love to come and give you a massage, but we already duck taped my keys to the ceiling...
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Just beat my spinning in office chair record. Almost puked. Totally worth it.
He was taking the caps off the vodka bottles and throwing them out the window so we'd have to finish them. Engineers have the best logic.
It's only 4 pm and I'm already way past my preferred quota of "could have died" moments
Nobody is stopping the marines from drinking in class on veterans day. They literally brought a cooler with a bottle of whiskey and vodka on ice. And are passing out red cups to anyone interested. Staying in Vegas for college has officialy become an A+ decision
I gave up yolo and cigarettes for lent. I owe god a sincere apology.
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I can already tell, the amount of fun I'm having right now is not nearly going to compensate for the amount of "let us never speak of this again" I'm gonna have tomorrow
Well puke fest 2014 just happened
I woke up with masking tape on my nipples this morning........... WHY DO BAD THINGS HAPPEN TO GOOD PEOPLE
my morning attempts to try to have sex with him was interrupted by the passion of the christ parade going on outside my house
the funny thing was, all i remember was a liter of vodka and going to oneonta for the night. then 2 weeks later bam, i get a letter banning me from campus for the next 4 years. awesome convorsation with my dad to wake up to.
I woke up with your bra on, and some guys boxers. I'm in a random truck, in the middle of nowhere...
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