if you force a hooker to have sex with you and dont pay her would it be rape or theft? something to ponder
This cougar at my work just said "big breasts" referring to poultry... Still resulted in a boner.
Kay wants to put chicklets in our cooters to make beavers and take pix captioned Got Wood? Taking public transit does scary things to her.
Someone carved 'Hank' in all caps in the snow outside my apartment building so naturally I turned the capital H into a K and added an S to the front.
I think college has really matured you.
you can add "aspirated seaman" to the list of things your sister has been admitted to the hospital for
Can you check your dirty laundry bag for my tooth.
There needs to be waaaay more alcohol in my apartment if I am going to survive being unemployed
Delete her number from his phone. He keeps slurring how he's going to get her "all sorts of pregnant".
I will no longer accept being cock blocked in my own bed.
You disappeared for an hour and showed back up with handfuls of bratwursts and yelled at my girlfriend that if she didn't eat them, that the nazis win
remember when I told you about my grandma asking me about my sex scars? Less comfortable than that
You paid at the door and they gave you a straw for the kiddie pool full of booze.
After a bit there were two girls who got naked and liquor wrestled. I don't think it was planned.
You talked the cab driver into taking a shot from your flask at a red light because "Ray Charles would want him to"
Aw. You're having cute FaceTime with your fiance, I'm trying to convince myself not to booty call a 42 year old. #adulting
I Never thought my late 30s would end up with me getting eaten out on a desk in the managers office of a lululemon, but I guess being a franchise owner has its perks!
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