I didn't join FB to see my only child straddle that boy in all her pictures.
I think I should become a real estate agent in th friend zone I know the place so well
How can it be called memorial day weekend....I don't even remember this weekend
I'm the saddest girl in a tutu right now.
I'm covered in sharpie and the girl next to me just said something smells like fried food. Hint: it's me. Why am I in class?
She wants to fuck me. On a tennis court. In her tennis outfit. Is ring-shopping an acceptable 3rd date activity?
he threw up in a solo cup, then washed it out and used it to play flip cup. Im not sure if thats resourceful or disgusting.
I just tried on my "outfit" for tonight and I should just wear sweatpants and a sign on my face that says I like it in the ass. That would be more comfortable
I never woulda thought that back in kindergarten playong kickball that'd i'd be 24 getting plastered in front of the white house and winning a kickball championship in a young adult drinking league
I've counted four places at work I need to get laid in. Come help me accomplish this.
Hey, I'm your guy
I would say I miss her friendship, then I remember that she gave 4 guys the clap. I'm good.
he cock-blocks himself, don't try to make excuses for him!
Considering who their parents are, maybe you should use vodka for the baptism.
don't do laundry while your drunk! i found a ketchup bottle & clothes hanger in the washer this morning!
His dick is curly. It's adorable.
Randomize
