you keep denying me to hang out, should i take a hint?
you keep asking me after midnight, should i take a hint?
You wanted to speak to the manager of mcdonalds as to why a "bag of cheeseburgers" isn't a menu option.
He did a line, told me my hair looked pretty against the background of the clouds, and then we fucked. Good afternoon
A picture just appeared on facebook. I am puking in the toilet, you are next to me puking in the sink. I think we have our christmas card.
Worst ten minutes of my life, it's was like trying to put a marshmallow in a piggy bank....
I just don't know what he sees in my vagina...and that scares me.
Now that I'm single, I like to think of myself as in a relationship with Taco Bell.
We stayed up until 4:20 AM. The next thing I remember was waking up at 4 PM, like my internal alarm clock knew.
The best part of that night wasn't even the sex, it was listening to her explain to her boyfriend why she was naked in her room while I hid in her closet.
Yea. Some girl set a laundry machine on fire. She's not getting married.
If it makes you feel any better, I'm eating a block of cheese...
These beer shits have taken over my entire life.
I told him to send me a dick snap for my birthday. To personalize it, he drew a candle coming out of the tip of it so I could blow it out.
PSA- Wearing assless chaps results in embarrassingly painful sunburn
Pillow talk was a high five, this morning she made dinosaur muffins for the house. I love chapel hill
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