the only reason you beat me in fntsy this week is bc you wouldnt bail me outa jail in time to set my roster you dick
Honestly, your dog is in better hands with that homeless guy.
He had a cowboy hat I don't know where from and he was trying to lasso a snowman with a dog leash.
Let's discuss options later this evening. I'll draw out said options and compare and contrast the "accessibility" of the costume for quickies. Because you never know. Halloween is full of surprises. I'll also compare practicality, level of skank, and creative features.
I need like a hormone stopper. Or a chastity belt. Or like a lady business alarm that goes off when I'm being too drunk.
Making cookies for neighbors. Spill beer all over dough. Bake anyways. From good neighbors back to the shitty college kids next door in under 3 seconds.
maybe if I avoid him long enough we could skip the talking part of "we need to talk"
Fucked her on the patio while some dude drove by on a mower. He waved. Twice.
Aaaaand my mom is wearing jeggings...
I truly wish I could say I pulled my groin straddling our cab driver but unfortunately I cannot
Just convinced a housekeeper at work to set up her 401k. Gotta start hittin the gb every morning before work. Happy 420
I've never had sex that lasts this long though. It's ridiculous. I feel like I need a Gatorade and a sweatband and a sub.
I'll probably just end up banging you in your parents marital bed,in their honor of course.
After round two, I told him he deserves an award. He bowed and did a princess wave WHILE his dick was still inside me.
My vagina still hurts from yesterday. That's the last time I think riding a mop bucket is a good idea. Don't let me do that again
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