i'm three days dirty after drinking 14 hours last night and some other questionable behavior (hula hooping at a large concert, for example) i will just always bring the class. and the sluttiness.
Stop being a whore!!! Everyone can see!!!!
At the same time. Hot men feeding me brownies. In between rounds of sex.
U owe me five dollars for that paper towel you bet i wouldnt eat last night
I have been sober for so long that I miss hangovers... what is happening to this summer?
This is your monthly public service announcement that sexual services will temporarily cease from Wednesday night to Monday. Please plan accordingly and have a nice day =D
Please tell me why your entire hallway smells like microwaved condoms.
How did I end up in the pool?!
Welcome to ASU
I just made my roommate a 'Hope you don't have chlamydia' cake.
Make one for john too.
You looked at my sister and yelled at her saying in a couple of years she will be yours
IT IS CHRISTMAS EVE AND I AM SUPPOSED TO BE HAVING SEX WITH AN ATTRACTIVE BLACK MAN IN THE NEXT FEW DAYS AND I JUST GOT MY PERIOD. WHEN PEOPLE ASK ME WHY I DON'T BELIEVE IN GOD I WILL TELL THEM OF THIS DAY.
Oh yeah, found out i got it from my boyfriend's wife. Thanks though.
Some girl just ordered Chinese delivery to her therapy appointment...
Man i fell asleep on a random persons porch on the way home and woke up to the family banging on the windows trying to wake me up
Just shaved my balls on a moving train. By far the most dangerous stunt I've ever pulled
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