I woke up this morning with my shirt on upside down.
You mean inside out.
No, upside down. I ripped the neck hole in the process of getting it around my waist.
Ok so serious question: if one wanted to say the plural of mongoose, would it be mongooses or mongeese?
My mom made me chili for when I get home from the bar. Those are the standards I expect you to live up to
seriously when did my vagina become a soup kitchen for the poor
Do Not. I repeat. DO NOT DRINK WHISKEY TO COPE. You will end up in jail. LEARN FROM THE PRO
When I found her she was drinking wine out of a plastic bag in a bathroom stall, staring at herself in the mirror and crying hysterically. Cabo does things to a person...
Most of the bar is playing trivia I'm playing destroy a relationship in twenty questions
The only thought that went through my head was "that would be an absolute disaster" so of course I said yes
They have some sort of agreement that they can sleep with other people if it helps then achieve their goal, or something like that
How awkward
Yeah it's pretty fucked up
You're wrong. It's my BIRTHDAY. We all know it's impossible to get pregnant on my diva day!
I'd risk everything I own for 10 min naked with her, 2 would be sex and the rest me crying like a little girl.
One of my favorite March activities is cropdusting people while wearing a kilt.
I want your cock. I also want to cuddle you and tell you how amazing you are, because you know balance.
He went three whole days without making a star wars reference, of course he got sex
I I was gonna wake him up with a blow job but I don't know how he would feel about it.
Randomize
