i'm pissing behind 7/11. if you guys leave... i'll think it's funny too
hot girl, 5 o clock
do you know how to read a clock?
i'm gonna start putting 34DD under other qualifications on my bartender applications and see if that helps
I puked in the AC vent. thing are gonna get ugly come summertime.
I just saw a van full of amish parents and their kids. Those cheating mother fuckers!
I tried carrying you from the bathroom to your bed and you begged me to bring the toilet too
Made it home ok. Only got hit by one car.
im pretty sure your bra is in my room hanging on my shark pinata
He brought a jar of pickles to the party. So now I've had beer, animal crackers, AND a pickle since noon.
i can feel the knowledge leaking out of my brain
replace it with alcohol - nature abhors a vacuum
I had to run home with my hands covering my tits this morning. How does this keep happening?
I've justified worse with less. I had sex with your brother because he was wearing a nice sweater
Let's never forget the time I met you while you were running down the street naked and in handcuffs.
My brother walked up to us as we were making out and was like "hey man, go to town!" and winked
Obviously you're feeling a little sexually frustrated.
I consider humping a stranger every ten minutes when I walk in the street.
Randomize
