Dual....:-)
he got instantly turned off in the middle of a blowjob when he heard the news "twilight beat the blockbuster record of batman"
Worst part of St. Paddy's...me drunkenly crying to a U2 cover band.
since we're both too lazy to go to each others house, you drink there, i'll drink here and we'll skype. it's the same thing.
Quick question, how many times can you get chlamydia before your vagina just gives up and falls off?
Something's wrong. Everything's on fire. Unless it was like that before. Then everything's alright.
If eating a cheesesteak naked doesn't make me feel better, then I don't know what will.
My Wonder Woman lingerie has been defiled by man. I'm a horrible Amazon.
I couldn't think of the word "bath" so instead I told him I was marinating in soapy water
should we try and roll a cross joint since its good friday? you know, for jesus
I'm only fucking women born in the 90s this summer
You keep making the old jokes & I'm gonna come down with a sudden case of low-estrogen related vaginal dryness..
If my drunken penis pic is ever to be forgiven id like to start over with all that
found a thong and $20 in my right pocket. it's going to be a good day
I woke up with a treasure map drawn on my ass. Whattt.
Randomize
