just to let you know, don't open your linen closet for a while until i come over with a cleaning kit and geek squad
I don't know where I am, but I'm drinkin & I like these people
Her name starts with A and ends with whore.
I hate to say it, but I think my pandora being Marvin Gaye love songs was the prime reason for the bj last night
i mean, some people chug beer and some people chug hard liquor. some people have good ideas and some people have bad ideas. it's all about perspective.
I need to make a 'no kissing' rule for my casual hookups during cold season...this cold is so not worth it.
ya she's here .. it looks like she just gave up and passed out on the floor
Sober me is really good at getting to the airport on time. Drunk me is really good at shitting my pants. Do you know how much pants cost at the airport????
Got head at the top of a water slide over-looking the valley while wearing a sombrero and drinking a corona. Epic.
NO TEQUILA
Why do I always think it's a good idea? Like a challenge? Shit maybe I should CHALLEGE myself to get laid for once instead
if a girl cums in a dorm room and no one hears it did it really happen?
There's a cute bearded guy at this brew fest wearing a kilt and selling mead
TELL HIM ABOUT MY DOWRY!!!
Yeeah, I think a threesome is one of those wedding presents you can't register for at Bed Bath And Beyond..
not sure what the chiropractor did but my junk deserves a cape now.
just bought safety googles to wear so he can cum on my face and not in my eye. SAFETY FIRST!
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