my boobs are a 3G dead zone. as soon as i take my phone out of my bra, it has a signal again.
do herpes really smell.
two words: eviction party
I just did my online traffic school at the bar. No biggie.
I'm bringing a flask to the test on friday. If I'm gonna fail at least I can enjoy the experience
he told me not to treat him like a child and then started peeing off the trampoline
You said that "grilled cheese was much to complex" and started to throw the buttered bread at the wall while eating all the cheese.
Yes. I feel like complaining about sex all the time with a 21 year old might be punishable by death of the sex gods so I try not to
Also adulthood=replacing meals with bourbon. And not getting your hair caught in a fan.
I have just gotten home. I saw a lot of penis tonight. On a trampoline. Shit got weird.
Every time I see him I get horny. I can't help it!
Just stop. You're making other wives look bad. We are all starting to hate you.
My nose was gushing blood and he just kept screaming "she took it like a champ" to everyone there. Plus side though, bartender felt bad for me and gave me a free drink.
Worse than that. I caught my roommate jerking off to a topless stripper in gta 5.
I was totally pumped and so was my beard
Okay so it turns out that my bf keeps a log of every time I sleep-fart. It's dated back to 2013.
Randomize
