dude i was like still drunk, taking pictures of her while she was naked and asleep and she woke up
haha what'd she say
i don't know man, something about us dating. but i never talked to her sober so i said i was making breakfast and snuck out of her house. close calls man WTF
would it be inappropriate to describe you with the phrase "bigass titties"?
im stripping for him via video chat, but the sound is turned off cause his students are taking a test
I would have added her but her profile pic was piece of pie
you could never motorboat her...you'd have to motor-titanic her
Chipotle chips and wine for breakfast. Its def game day
I feel like I have streams of color and coldness wrapping around my body.
we cut her off and put her in bed but by the time we got back to the drinks she was already there shirtless. she's the topless tequila ninja
You know what? I bet HE would do stormtrooper roleplay with me. I'm in.
I used to put Bugles on my penis and pretend it was a wizard.
Oh, cold wet seat on the 48! Are you piss? Are you the sweaty ass leavings of an obese person? Are you the spilled King Cobra from the night before? I do not know! I dare not smell to find out... Pants ruined...
We can get drunk and battle coyotes
I keep picking up boring men who literally just want to cuddle. HOW AM I THIS BAD AT GETTING SEX?
The sad moment you remember you have no power for a week and can't flush.....
Wrong number bro but that sounds like a damn shame.
Can you leave her a note saying "did you enjoy watching me fuck your roommate?"
I will.
Randomize
