I dreamt Michael Jackson dropped his pants in front of me and I had to ignore it.
he made transformer sounds every time he changed positions. how do you think it went?
he asked if thats how we do it in the states..like there's cultural difference in fucking between canada and the us..
I tried telling you she just blew me in the bathroom but you were too busy making out with her to listen
literally. a puddle of blood. on the floor. still searching for the source
I don't know what happen last night but the fact that it's 9 am and I need to put my dick in something means it didn't go as planned.
he was spitting whole peanuts projectile out of his mouth at the waitresses as they walked by and then yelled across the restaurant that he had "no problem kicking any of their asses"
He ripped off my pantyhose and all I could think was, "oh no those were clinic-appropriate!" That's what I get for ditching a continuing education meeting to go hook up with my scuba instructor.
Apparently drinking in your car before going into a sales meeting is frowned upon. We are car sales men not doctors.
I'm so hungover I can't taste anything
It's acceptable to bring him back to my parents house and fuck on the couch right??
Your pictures have evolved a lot over the years but I think your angry dick pic phase was one of my favorites
he woke up this morning, drunk as fuck, butt ass naked, and he had left grandmas gun on the counter and doesn't know why.
Just realized that I indirectly pay for sex through my cable bill
Wow. He is an expensive lay
I still have to figure out the cost per lay. It could be a financially sound investment
If you ever get divorced...would you call me??
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