How was Slumdog? Did it pull your heartstrings?
It was entertaining. Better than most other Mexican films.
he had more hair on his balls then in my Easter basket
I remember spending $50 at Ozzie's on Friday...my Visa remembers $120.
Someone left a beer in front of your door...there's a note with it that says "peace offering"
I think being a buddhist has made me a better drunk
It started as a joke and ended with a trip to the emergency room, a broken macbook and a gigantic hole in the concrete of my driveway.
I just woke up entirely naked on top of a pile of some guy's laundry on his bedroom floor.
she's five days sober.....are those consecutive????
5 days not 5 nights... like a bad hotel/vacation deal
Just bought a gingerbread house kit and pregnancy tests. Happy holidays.
You know you've found a good drug dealer when he's willing to overnight mail to you in another state...
I'm that daughter that had to send her mother "DON'T GET SHITFACED" & yes, in ALL CAPS.
Fuck you. All I remember from last night is telling random people that I'm in a "judgement free zone" then I threw up
Just found a pair of vomit-soaked socks in my purse, three days after the party... Now I know why my wallet was wet.
it’s my vagina i can do what i want to
The gift for sixth anniversary is steel. He bought me handcuffs. Inee I married the right man!
Randomize
