I'm watching CSI, they found semen in the woman's ear.
Guess she heard her killer coming
Just downloaded the entire Justin Bieber album sober.. I think you know how I'm doing.
You asked me to be the big spoon, when you passed out on the stairs
I'll try not to. I have an appointment at the hospital tomorrow so my goal is to wake up there.
Stripperoke is exactly what it sounds...
Sun* burn. But that sounds like wait.. Midsentence thought... It would be like swimming in a giant bowl of cereal.. Only I would be cereal. This is brilliant.
Secondly, that waffle is lost for good. I have no fucking idea where that bitch is
I'm trying to ve beat feiesnd sent.
When you get a chance, you should call Nick. He REEAAAALLLLLY wants to hear you make chewbacca noises.
If I ever see that bitch it is going down flavor of love style
Her son walked into the middle of the living room, took off his diaper, shit on the floor, smiled at me, and walked out, as if nothing happened.
So date night went well?
Accepting his friend request would be the Facebook equivalent of pity sex.
he made that chewbacca noise when he came. like father like son i guess.
I'm mainly pissed because I shaved fucking EVERYTHING for this. WITH SHAVING CREAM. Men do not appreciate how rarely that happens.
He said I have the “Denzel Washington” of vaginas.
Randomize
