That was rough. We had a 50% puke rate and 100% still drunk rate at lunch
Why do my orgasm prompt her to begin using babytalk EVERYTIME?!
So chef boyardee smells exactly the same after you throw it up
i literally discovered the exact same thing last week. i had the lasagna one
ravioli
I know I'm all grown up when I don't have to take my pregnancy test in the store bathroom anymore.
The future queen of Norway was pregnant with a druglord's baby when she met the prince. We still have hope.
We've been here 3 hours and the only 1 word answer she didn't give was the drink order. Don't think I'm getting laid tonight
Just gave some kid head in the library. Perfect way to end the semester.
I should probably just look up vagina pictures in the anatomy textbook. That always cheers me up.
Bruce the cab driver wants to take me on a date to see Taken 2
Got robbed by an ATM. My weekend officially sucks.
GUESS WHO STILL HAS BOTH NIPPLES!
Let's celebrate our country being screwed by screwing.
Three times. Three times I left home yesterday in search for sex, and three times I returned un-orgasmed.
Life's hard when you can't differentiate between retrograde and PMS
He’s exactly what I’m looking for: he’s got a broken heart, a working penis and a new boat!!!
Randomize
