i feel like arbor mist is too classy for that. you need a colt 45
Yeah you're right. The one time when arbor mist is too classy
I tried doing a handstand in the middle of the bar and I ended up kicking this old guy in the face and broke his glasses. Thats how I got kicked out
all he has to do is look at me on new years and hes getting laid. thats how hot he is
If you were curious as to how many pounds of bagged marijuana can fit in the trunk of a 2010 Chevrolet Aveo, we now have the answer
After they flagged you, you hid in a bathroom stall and text me to bring you more shots. That kind of drunk.
Wingman of the year award. I made out with her gay roommate in order for you to get laid. Better have been good.
The gay roommate was probably better than her. Consider yourself lucky.
Calling a preemptive no homo on tonight's activities
the other day i was so high i found pages and pages of pictures of HD hamburgers and patriotic music. bong rips for merica.
I fucked him on my yoga mat. Then we wake and baked and ate granola. So yes, you could say I found my center.
Your brother's naked in the courtyard again. Just a head's up.
you can't get cum all over my hair and then tell me you just want to be friends
For an hr, you were convinced you no longer had a right arm so you played Super Mario Bros with just your left hand vs Beth. You won btw, mite b why she refused to wear the unicorn head
I came so hard I went blind for a few seconds.
Legit just heard the bartender tell some Dude "Penis is not an accepted currency in this establishment" and Dude responded "You take Vagina then?"
I think I accidentally got a sugar daddy but I was already planning on sleeping with him so I’m going to see where this goes
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