I may or may not have started my period at the bar. Good thing I have dark jeans on.
Just made ouyt with a dude on the real wporld...I said I dont want my face blired out
Whats the opposite of morning wood? Whatever its called, everyone saw it when it fell out.
I woke up to her vacumming the grass
Absence makes the cock grow harder.
I might scale it back and go as an investment banker. Which is the exact same costume as James Bond on LSD. I just introduce myself differently.
It's like I'm in a vicious cycle of noncommittal penis.
I can already almost taste penis in my mouth
Shit, my parents are coming over and I just realized that a grinder is not an acceptable paperweight
I wanna send them a card but I don't think hallmark makes a "sorry your fiance and another girl blew me at the same time in a frat house but congrats!" card
I'm sure you're still partially crippled from thar blow job on Saturday, so I understand it's probably difficult to text.
i just want a position where we can lock up like some sort of sexual megatron and go the whole night that way
She showed up at 4:30 in the morning HAMMERED, stripped, demanded sex, then after 4 failed attempts stopped me mid-thrust to tell me she thought we should be fucking for a cause, like animal rights. Process that for a second. She wanted us to be fucking for animal rights.
He gave me an orgasim so fantastic that I had an asthma attack.
Was just at a stoplight and some kid was smoking a blunt and we smiled at him and he offered to pass it between cars... Only in Rockford
Randomize
