if you like me you must not know who I am
i hate sounding clingy, but i just wanted to verify i wasn't an asshole in your mind
just got drunk at a party with Christmas themed solo cups.. holidays are officially here.
Their bromance is so intense that they don't even eye-fuck when they see each other....they eye-make-love.
I'm at the grocery store, it's 10 am and the woman in front of me just bought 3 boxes of wine. She turned around and told me not to be afraid
Judging by his buldge, this guy is huge. just paid steve to follow him into the bathroom and find out. They had a convo about it.
corona bottle fell out of my backpack and broke in the middle of my physics midterm. yay me.
I called her 20 times. Apparently she went home to do MORE shots before bed. Didnt miss me until this morning. WHO FORGETS THEIR HIGHSCHOOL SISTER AT A FRAT?
On the verge of sleeping with a man who can take me to an early bird dinner and a movie with his AARP discount. YOLO
So both cops helped talk her into coming back into the bar and doing a shot with me. The main argument being, "a bar is no place to be sober!"
I wouldn't even cut tickets or put ppl in jail I'd just hand out punches to the mouth and Liam Neeson throat chops
He really only has clothes, like 4 boogie boards, and a bong here.
I'm getting 800 nuggets from McDonald's
He was really cute! And I know but it's just like getting my fix ya know? He's basically a human vibrator.
I woke up and he already had a joint rolled waiting next to the bed. Love.
Randomize
