please quote me on this- the only thing worse than being ugly is being ugly and thinking that you're pretty
Is it just me or do I always seem to have cum in my bellybutton?
i might even pee on it at walmart i am so nervous
The voicemail says i shouldn't bother ever showing my face there again, i don't understand
We visited your boss last night. guess you wont be paying the rent this month, eh?
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i am literally watching eva make a trashbag diaper for you to sleep in tonight. whole new level of low for you.
Her bed looked like it had just hosted a water balloon fight. It was that good.
I had to take the fire extinguisher from him. He was just sitting on the floor petting it.
The great thing about skinny blondes is that they're all interchangeable.
Nope, I'm sticking to passive aggressive punishments. Like mismatching his socks and cumming on his leather couch. OCD is so wonderful.
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It's like the bermuda triangle of cat puke
figured after she passed out and i threw up in her bed, morning sex would be pushing it.
It was the best of bangs; it was the worst of bangs.
Look at my fb. It says single. That's the gospel.
This morning was so rough I can't even. I was cutting up vegetables for my omelet on the floor. THE FLOOR. I sat on the floor because I felt like I was gonna vom.
Morning! Im using your rent money to snort percocet.
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