my Econ professor just passed around his phone for us to take a pic of ourselves so he could learn our names. I am currently looking him up on my sex offenders app.
Is it bad that now when i read ingredients in the food I eat i only read it as shrooms instead of mushrooms ?
i hate always having to make my eye shadow look really good since my eyes always end up closed by the end of the night in pics
Its only tuesday and I need a dd home from work. This is getting too easy.
I feel like I knew it was fucked up, but feared that god would take my dick away if I didn't use it last night.
Just living on dreams and a bed of used condoms
It's all fun and games until your AARP eligible neighbors end up blacking out in your yard at 5pm with a box of franzia. I'm feeling a great year ahead
It was everywhere. My dick was a sprinkler of lost future children.
Drunkenly, I gave him a molly instead of an aleve so A) I'm still looking for him and B) I'm not sure about his headache.
How the fuck does a person bruise an armpit? I swear to god, I get the lamest drunk injuries.
We were at dinner and dad asked me to pass the salt and I suddenly remembered doing body shots when I was blacked out last weekend.
It's gotten to the point that when I close my eyes to cum all I see is candy crush
We had a moment of silence for all of the orgasms he gave me with his beard before he shaved it off.
It was extremely weird and uncomfortable mid blow job she looks up and says " tell me Simon Cowell makes your dick hard"
I guess the weekly d&d orgies are treating you well
Randomize
