why do i have 22 missed calls from someone who is literally saved in my phone as bumrape star??
I just told her she was a heartbeat above a blowup doll.
I just heard these 2 kids from flint and Detroit arguing over whose economy is worse... It's really sad what passes for competition in Michigan these days
She gave me a foot massage with her tongue. I think we're both scarred for life.
I just broke a sweat shaving my own vagina. Something has got to change.
I don't know what possessed you to do that, but you have to give the stripper more money before you try to check her oil or they are going to throw us out every time you do that.
well apparently i was just calling everyone cunts. then i awoke from my blackout to 3 very mad roommates who didn't bring a key out with them
She's passed out with a slice of pizza between her boobs should I just eat it and leave
I just remember banging him and then at some point I went and took a shower and went and laid in the closet
I don't trust him but hanging out with him might be fun
he's literally satan but yeah probably
well we started off by chasing vodka with chocolate milk and ended up trying to befriend a crippled raccoon so that should tell you how our night went
I want to meet people. Preferably ones with penises
I aimed for bossy but it came out slutty
I was puking for like ten minutes when I realized my parents were fucking in the shower and were afraid to come out
I was singing Colors of the Wind and swigging vodka and still felt like more of an adult.
Randomize
