i really thought "pants-shitting drunk" was an unreachable level until last night
i walked into his room and he was eskimo kissing his weed..
Does it really count as two different guys if they're brothers? I like to think of it as one and a half.
It has to be really easy to get midgets drunk.
He literally stopped in the middle of sex to look up sex positions on his iPhone...
Washing vom off hardwood, so much easier than carpet. Thank you adulthood!
The entire time I'm blowing him she's in the back seat lecturing me on the reasons why you're not suppose to do that while they're driving...
Quick question. What's the protocol on going back to a bar after going home with one of their bartenders?
Go back and try to find another to go home with.
He looks like a fat version of lurch from the adams family and smells like fritos. This is not the caliber man I want pleasuring himself to the thought of me!
No he can't help me find his house he is strapped to a stretcher facing the opposite direction
She just won 2 Grammys at 17 and were sitting here hotboxing our half bathroom
The teenager outdrank all of us. All. Of. Us. I woke up and she was getting everyone water and fruit snacks. I give up.
I just learned in class that female whales slap their fins against the water and then ten males come and fight for her yet we can't get guys to text us back
you bleached my bangs. i have an interview later today and you assholes bleached my bangs.
Tonight I'm getting fucked up for America because Lord knows we need it.
Randomize
