HOLY SHIT! Did you see the dick on that Great White Shark?!?!?!
If penises could fly, my ass would totally be an airport.
only 75% of american men are circumcised...i guess this was bound to happen to me someday.
I voted for him because his wife supports his raging sex life.
he couldnt get it up, so i stole his lighter. i needed to have some reason to say the night wasnt wasted
Im dating a 38 year old who's lap I can fit in. Tell me I don't have daddy issues.
I don't always steal things but when i do it is a six foot five dos equis guy
I always thought The Big Bang Theory wasa terrible show but that was before it came with blowjobs and pizza.
Went to put my shoe on and asked myself why I left a sock in it. I didn't. Needless to say I found our used condom.
he was definitely tindering while i gave him head
My dad told me to bring weed to easter Sunday dinner..
You have the perkiest tits in all of North America. You're fine.
he woke up this morning, drunk as fuck, butt ass naked, and he had left grandmas gun on the counter and doesn't know why.
They offered me pot brownies in 7 minutes flat. Imagine my horror when I had to be like, are those gluten free?
You could at least care enough to fake an orgasm for me.
Randomize
