Well listen chief - never again do i want the scenario of going to the ER totally naked and partially drunk to b a possibility.
Why is there a cactus in the microwave?
Don't worry about it.
A DRUNK EMT IS BETTER THAN NO EMT!!!
Bring single women, or taken women who are unhappy with their relationships, or women who are happy with their relationships but have low moral standards, or women who just like to remove clothing when drunk (relationship status is unimportant for this option)
It felt like Party Santa dropped by and gave us two more 18-packs.
There's a drag queen here that reminds me strongly of you. You should try crossdressing.
Come through the front door when you get here.
Right now I'm so wasted I can't determine whats a door and a window.
Is there a word in the English dictionary for impressed, yet disgusted?
I think the word you're looking for is flabbergasted.
So i had a feeling this dude with one leg in a wheelchair was following me around Walmart turns out I was right. He just asked for a picture of my feet.
i mean i let him but still...
I'm just concerned as to why his penis is two different colors.
How good was the sex? She sent me a fruit basket the next day.
Dude, the T Swift concert might not be so bad after all. Can you say milfs living vicariously through their teenage daughters? Score.
Finding my pants in the morning should not make me this proud
He's here walking around DRUNK AS FUCK in a Kobe Bryant number 8 jersey... Tucked in.
Sexual Dilemma - Covid Edition: Flirting with a cute frat boy. The Cougar in me wants to go back to his frat house and fuck his cocky brains out. The adult in me doesn’t want to get Covid and have to quarantine in a frat house for 2 weeks\n
Randomize
