bahahahaha i would laugh soo hard if someone did this for me hahahaha this guy would become my best friend
just peed in the tub, threw it on Megan.. she threw more back, I got out and threw toilet water on her.. forecast for tomorrow? pink eye.
Just seeing my phone say "picture message from: Senor Floppy Cock", i knew it was going to make me smile.
I just witnessed Grandma making her infamous daiquiris. Extraordinary.
I was in bed at 845. Affairs take a lot out of people
now I know why they wanted me to come. apparently gay guys are stripper magnets
I can't wait for round whatever # we're on tonight.
Watched him slip somethin into her drink. Dragged him of his bar stool, punched him out, and told her what i saw. Bartender used some chemical to confirm presence of rophynol. Just woke up at her place
Just watched a guy get through airport security with a full bottle of captain morgan. In my head the entire airport cheered.
Aaaand the winner of the worst decision of Sunday night goes to me as I pull up to his house in my lingerie.
I was thirsty after the sex and it was a long trek back to res so naturally I stole chocolate milk from his fridge as I left
I immediately woke up from my nap, made myself a screwdriver and got in the shower. I know it's spring break but I'm still questioning my life choices.
Just had to stop myself from doing a bump on the Disney bus. The struggle is real.
did you just try to prove your straightness by quoting a lady gaga song?
If someone tells me they're a paramedic, how inappropriate is it for me to ask what their save to kill ratio is?
Randomize
